The 70yr old 4yr old

Posted on July 30, 2011


Last night Senora Verde asked me why I hadn’t written about a regular customer of ours she likes to call The 70yr old 4yr old. Truth is I don’t even know where to begin.  I have to say she irritates me so bad that I couldn’t even put it into words, until now. I can’t even pinpoint why she irritates me so bad but whenever she’s around. I just stand there with a look of confusion on my face, shaking my head until she checks out and leaves, which is usually AFTER closing time. She’s been a customer since before I even worked there. The title says it all. She’s probably in her mid to late 60’s.  She speaks like a child “I really donno if this is really gonna work like this, hmmmmm” she’ll say while cocking her head to the side and biting her bottom lip. She asks childlike questions, ” Hi, is it umm ok if I try these umm on in the fitting room…please?” Worst of all she wears children’s clothes. Wait lemme rephrase that. She wears clothes I see on toddlers while my son and I are at the park. Like thigh length pink floral dresses that you can see through! and she comes out of the fitting room and asks our opinion about them! See? Now I’m getting irritated again! This past winter she was in the store AT LEAST 3 to 4 times a week wearing the head of a cat on top of her own. A Kitty Cap! On a 60yr old! Once she lost it and wanted the whole store on lock down until she found it. She asked every man woman and child if they had seen it. I thought she was gong to cry like Jayden Smith in The Pursuit of Happiness after he lost his Captain America doll! Then she rushed out of the store. She came back the next day wearing it again. She giggled and said ” It was in my car”…PASS!